The 2020 documentary Out Loud, directed by Gail Willumsen, is a poignant and captivating exploration of the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles, the world’s largest ensemble of transgender and gender non-conforming individuals who regularly come together to create music. This documentary delves into the group's inaugural season, capturing the powerful process of its formation as its members prepare for their public debut in 2016. As the choristers share their deeply personal stories, they offer an intimate view of what it means to be trans in America today. In Out Loud, music becomes more than just a medium of expression; it serves as a historical moment for both the participants and the LGBTQ+ community. The film’s significance was underscored when it won the LGBTQ+ Film Festival’s Feature Film Award in 2021.
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The inspiration for the documentary came in 2015, when director Gail Willumsen happened upon an open call for transgender and gender non-conforming singers, posted in a local Los Angeles newspaper. The ad was for the creation of LA’s first trans chorus, a landmark project in a time when the rights of transgender individuals were, and continue to be, under threat. Willumsen recognized the importance of this chorus, not only as a unique and historic gathering but also as a source of inspiration for many who would view it. “At a time when the rights of trans people were (and still are) under siege, this chorus would be historic,” says Willumsen. "I knew it would also be inspiring, and I wanted to document it." The film, Out Loud, is a testament to Willumsen’s deep gratitude to the choristers who opened up their lives and their voices to be part of this film. The film is not just a behind-the-scenes look at the creation of a chorus; it’s a portrait of human resilience and transformation, showcasing how art, specifically music, has the power to change perceptions and unite people across differences.
The production of Out Loud began in January 2016, as the chorus started rehearsing for their first performance, which would be held in 2016. Filming continued until the summer of 2017, during which Willumsen and her crew worked to capture the highs and lows of the group’s journey, from early rehearsals to the emotional and powerful concert debut. Despite the challenging nature of filming, which had to be fitted around other commitments, the team made steady progress, finally finishing the film in early 2020, ready for its festival debut.
However, just as the documentary was poised to enter the festival circuit, the COVID-19 pandemic struck, delaying many of the film’s promotional activities. When asked to describe the documentary in just two words, Willumsen suggests a hyphenated term: “LIFE-AFFIRMING.” This succinct description captures the essence of Out Loud perfectly. The film doesn’t just document the birth of a musical ensemble; it celebrates the lives of its participants and the affirmation of their identities. The choristers are not just singing for the sake of music; they are singing to assert their presence, their individuality, and their right to be seen and heard in a world that has often marginalized them. Their voices become a form of resistance, a way to change hearts and minds, and to pave the way for future generations of trans and gender non-conforming people.
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The process of bringing Out Loud to life was not without its challenges. Willumsen and her team began production without any external funding, having to rely on their resourcefulness to capture the essence of the Trans Chorus’s creation. The early stages of the project were marked by modest production budgets, which the team managed by keeping expenses low and taking on much of the production and post-production work themselves. However, one of the most significant obstacles they encountered was the cost of securing music rights for several of the songs featured in the documentary. Although they were able to pay for the rights needed to show Out Loud at film festivals, obtaining the necessary permissions for broadcast, streaming, and other distribution platforms proved to be financially prohibitive. The team continues to seek funding to cover these additional costs, highlighting the financial barriers that many independent filmmakers face when seeking to share their work on a wider scale.
At the center of the documentary is the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles, a groundbreaking ensemble founded by Lindsey Deaton, a trans woman and the artistic director for the chorus's inaugural season. Deaton’s mission for the chorus was clear: to help the choristers discover their voices, both literally and metaphorically. “I feel my mission is to help these choristers to discover and love and use their voices,” says Deaton, who is classically trained. Many of the choristers, however, are not experienced musicians, and some are adjusting to changes in their vocal range due to hormone replacement therapy (HRT), which affects their pitch and tone.
The stakes were high as the chorus members worked tirelessly toward their first public performance at UCLA. The process was not just about mastering the music - it was about confronting personal challenges, embracing new identities, and creating a community of support. The documentary captures the emotional and physical toll of preparing for such a significant moment, but also the joy and transformation that comes with being part of a collective that affirms who they are. Lindsey Deaton’s vision for the chorus extends beyond the musical performance itself. As she puts it, “We’re here to sing so that we can change hearts and minds everywhere.” The Trans Chorus of Los Angeles is more than a group of singers - it is a political and cultural movement. By using their voices, the choristers are challenging societal norms, making a statement about gender identity, and asserting the legitimacy and beauty of their existence.
Out Loud is not just a film about music or about the struggles of transgender people; it is a celebration of trans life, resilience, and community. It highlights the importance of visibility for marginalized groups, showcasing the power of representation in art and culture. For many in the transgender community, seeing themselves reflected in this way - through the stories and experiences of the choristers - can be incredibly affirming. The film’s recognition at the 2021 LGBTQ+ Film Festival is a testament to its impact and importance in the ongoing fight for trans rights and visibility. Through Out Loud, Willumsen offers a powerful narrative that showcases the strength and diversity of the trans community, as well as the crucial role of the arts in pushing boundaries and fostering understanding.
In conclusion, Out Loud is an extraordinary documentary that captures not only the creation of a trans chorus but also the transformative power of music, community, and self-expression. It is a reminder that the struggles faced by transgender and gender non-conforming individuals are not just about overcoming adversity - they are about embracing and celebrating one’s true self. The Trans Chorus of Los Angeles is making history, not only through their musical performances but also by shifting perceptions, breaking down barriers, and fostering a sense of solidarity that transcends gender. Through the lens of Out Loud, we are invited into this powerful journey, and we come away with a renewed sense of hope, understanding, and connection.
Image credits: Vimeo
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