TEDx Talks: Riah Roe

Show: TEDx Talks
Title: There are Missing Bricks in Trans Bathrooms
Release Year: 2016

In her thought-provoking TEDx Talk titled "There Are Missing Bricks in Trans Bathrooms," delivered on 13 September 2016, Riah Roe - a civil rights advocate, community organizer, and performance artist - offers a passionate and deeply personal exploration of the challenges faced by transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. 

 

Through her vivid storytelling, Roe sheds light on the emotional and psychological burdens of living as a trans person in a society that is often hostile or indifferent to their existence. Her narrative focuses on one pivotal moment from her past that catalyzed her commitment to advocating for the rights of transgender individuals, particularly in relation to bathroom access. Roe begins her talk by connecting with her audience in a relatable way. She asks, "Who here has ever been in a public restroom?" A simple question, but it serves as the gateway for her to introduce a much deeper issue: the dehumanizing and often discriminatory experiences that transgender people face in everyday situations. With this question, she sets the stage for a discussion about the systemic and personal obstacles transgender individuals encounter, including something as mundane as using a public restroom.

 

Roe recounts a deeply painful personal experience that occurred while she was in college. She was out with a friend at a pub when both of them realized they needed to use the restroom. As her friend went ahead, Roe followed shortly after, only to be stopped by a security guard who demanded to see her identification. The security guard, upon inspecting her ID, noted that her gender marker was an "F," which led to her being denied access to the women's restroom. She was forced to confront her transgender identity in a moment of public humiliation and was told that because of the lack of specific legislation regarding transgender bathroom use, she was required to use a single-stall bathroom located in the basement - if it wasn’t being used by bands on certain nights. 

 

This moment was significant for Roe, not only because of the direct violation of her rights but because it highlighted the broader societal issues faced by transgender people. The treatment she received that night in the pub was a microcosm of the larger systemic issue: the denial of trans people’s rights to access public spaces based on their gender identity. Roe poignantly reflects, "My human right to access a place of public accommodation had been suspended, taken into the hands of a person who may very likely wish that my kind of human didn’t exist." Her recounting of this incident serves as the foundation for her larger argument about the broader societal forces that marginalize transgender people. It is not just about bathroom access - it is about the ongoing criminalization of transgender bodies. This moment in the pub was a direct assault on her humanity, and it became a defining moment in Roe’s advocacy journey. 

 

Roe shifts the discussion from her personal experience to the national context, addressing the rise in anti-transgender legislation that coincided with the passing of marriage equality laws. She points out the paradox that, while marriage equality became the law of the land, the violence against transgender people escalated. "In 2015, more trans people were killed than in any other year in this country’s recorded history," she notes. However, she also emphasizes that this alarming statistic reflects a broader societal trend: that society has not yet fully embraced or protected transgender individuals. Roe argues that the increased violence against transgender people is not an anomaly but part of a larger pattern where, as acceptance of LGBTQ+ people grows, hate and violence against transgender individuals have been resurgent. In particular, she addresses the legislative battles that have been framed as efforts to protect "women and children," but which, in reality, perpetuate discrimination against transgender people. These bills, often referred to as "bathroom bills," are not about protecting safety or privacy - they are about denying transgender individuals their humanity. 

 

One of the most powerful concepts in Roe’s talk is the idea of "missing bricks." Drawing from her experience as a community organizer, she uses this metaphor to highlight the ignorance that exists between different communities, particularly those that are privileged and those that are marginalized. In the context of her talk, the missing bricks represent the gaps in understanding that prevent people from connecting with each other on a deeper, empathetic level. Roe explains that the missing brick concept is central to community organizing. She argues that people often rely on "starter bricks," which are shaped by the people closest to them. These bricks, however, are often derived from shared experiences and common backgrounds. While this is not inherently bad, it can make it difficult to understand the lived experiences of people from different walks of life. In order to truly make change, Roe asserts, we must be open to exchanging missing bricks - bridging the gaps in our understanding by sharing and listening to each other’s stories. 

 

For those receiving a missing brick - those who are learning about the experiences of others - Roe advises a deep level of vulnerability and openness. It is important, she argues, not to dismiss someone’s experience just because it doesn’t make sense from our own perspective. Instead, we should approach these stories with empathy, a willingness to acknowledge our own ignorance, and an openness to change. "Just because something doesn’t make sense to you from your experience doesn’t mean that what they’re saying has not truly impacted them," she stresses. This is a crucial point in the talk - understanding that the lived reality of another person is not for us to judge but to comprehend with respect. For those sharing their own missing bricks - marginalized individuals like Roe herself - she emphasizes the importance of reframing the conversation from a confrontational "calling out" to a more collaborative "calling in." This approach allows for dialogue where individuals can share their experiences without triggering immediate defensiveness. Reframing the conversation in this way requires patience and understanding, but it is essential for building meaningful, long-term bridges of understanding. 

 

At the core of Roe’s talk is the power of storytelling as a tool for change. She draws on her background in psychology, sociology, and gender studies to demonstrate that storytelling is not just a way to entertain or inform - it is a means of creating empathy, understanding, and connection. Storytelling, she argues, is one of the most powerful tools for both individual and societal transformation. Roe’s advocacy work focuses on creating healing spaces for transgender and gender non-conforming people. She uses her own story not just to inform but to challenge her audience to take action - whether by sharing their own missing bricks or by advocating for policies that support the rights and dignity of transgender people. She concludes her talk by sharing that, after speaking with the management at the pub again, they assured her that such an incident would never happen again. This small victory illustrates the potential impact of sharing personal stories - stories that humanize the issue and compel change. 

 

Roe’s TEDx Talk is a call to action for all of us to recognize our own missing bricks and work to fill them through empathy, storytelling, and community building. It is a call for understanding the experiences of marginalized groups, particularly transgender individuals, and actively working to dismantle the systems of discrimination that harm them. By sharing stories, opening our hearts and minds, and engaging in honest dialogue, we can begin to bridge the gaps that separate us and build a more inclusive, compassionate world. Through the metaphor of missing bricks, Roe invites us to engage in a process of mutual learning and understanding. She challenges us to be open to new perspectives and to actively seek out opportunities to share our experiences, knowing that each brick added to the bridge is a step toward greater social justice and equity.

 

via: youtube

Image credits: YouTube - TEDx Talks

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