Maud Marin’s story, as told to reporters Olivier Nicolas and Joakim Arlaud, is a gripping account of a life shaped by suffering, survival, and resilience. It is a testament to the challenges faced by those marginalized by society, particularly trans individuals, and their struggle to find identity, love, and acceptance. This reportage sheds light on the intense struggles, moments of triumph, and unyielding courage of a woman who lived through the most harrowing experiences, ultimately finding solace and purpose in writing.
Born Jean-Pascal Henry in Rouen, Maud Marin’s early years were marked by confusion and a sense of alienation. She was raised in a family that would not accept her true self. Maud was born with a condition known as male hermaphroditism, a medical anomaly that would later define much of her life. The condition, which is untreatable, was a source of deep shame for her family. As a child, she felt the weight of society's rejection, a theme that would follow her throughout her journey. Maud herself reflects on this difficult time, saying, “I was born with a major sexual atrophy. A male hermaphroditism, which is untreatable. It was a shame for the family.” This biological condition left her caught between two worlds, unable to fit the societal norms of either gender. However, Maud’s true identity was already beginning to take shape in her mind. She was a woman trapped in the wrong body, and despite the oppressive silence of her family, she began to explore her femininity in secret.
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Around the age of 10 or 11, Maud began to secretly dress up in her mother’s clothes. In an environment where gender roles were rigidly defined, these acts of rebellion provided her with a rare sense of self-affirmation. As she recalls, “I stole my mother's stuff, the good stuff, to dress up as a girl. It made me very funny, it made me something completely in my body, in my guts.” These moments of self-expression gave Maud a feeling of true connection with herself, and for the first time, she felt alive and authentic. However, her father’s discovery of her cross-dressing quickly led to emotional turmoil. “My father came into the bathroom and he screamed. My son is crazy, my son is crazy.” This reaction encapsulated the brutal rejection Maud would face for the remainder of her youth. The cruelty from her peers and the violent backlash from her family laid the foundation for a life of constant struggle and alienation. Despite the emotional and social toll, Maud managed to succeed academically, passing her exams without much difficulty. But even with these achievements, the stifling rejection of her true identity weighed heavily on her.
In search of freedom, Maud eventually left Rouen for Paris, where she hoped to escape the suffocating atmosphere of her hometown. Paris, however, offered a new world of challenges and opportunities. Maud discovered the infamous streets of the city, including Rue des Trois Frères, where she encountered a community that would offer her the acceptance she had longed for. The area was known for its vibrant and diverse mix of prostitutes, transsexuals, and transvestites, and it was here that Maud first began to explore her identity in the context of this world. “I immediately understood that I was like them,” Maud reflects, describing the moment of self-realization. She began frequenting the bars of Pigalle, a well-known district in Paris famous for its nightlife and its open embrace of sexual diversity. It was a liberating experience for her, and for the first time, she felt truly at home among people who understood her struggles. The atmosphere of the late 1960s, infused with the spirit of rebellion and change, allowed her to embrace her femininity more openly.
As Maud continued to explore this new world, she was drawn into prostitution. Initially, she worked in Pigalle, but soon moved on to the Bois de Boulogne, one of the most notorious spots for prostitution in Paris at the time. She describes her first experience at the Bois as terrifying, yet inevitable. “What shocked me when I arrived is this fear of the dark. This childish fear that we have. I was like a kid in a forest, in a big forest. It’s all black. It’s scary.” For Maud, prostitution was not a choice, but rather a means of survival. As an intersex person, she was excluded from mainstream society, and this exclusion often left her with few options for sustenance. Yet, despite the difficult and dangerous nature of her work, she persisted, driven by the need to survive. “Prostitution was eating, surviving,” she admits. Her experiences in the Bois de Boulogne were often violent, and she learned to navigate a world where power dynamics were stark, and the risk of harm was ever-present. One of the most harrowing experiences she recounts is an encounter where she narrowly escaped a violent death. After boasting in a bar about never having had a proxenet, she found herself face-to-face with a group of men who threatened her life. They took her to a bridge, intending to harm her. Miraculously, she survived the encounter, though it would be a pivotal moment in her life.
Maud’s life took another turn when she found herself trapped in a dangerous situation with a prominent figure in the prostitution world, Roger le Diplomate. He orchestrated a marriage for her with an Englishman, enabling her to move to London and escape the violence and threats in Paris. However, her time in London was fraught with danger, and the threat of death loomed large as gangsters from Malta targeted her for not sending the money she owed. Maud feared for her life, but she was ultimately saved by the intervention of a French police officer, Georges Moreas, who convinced the gangsters that she was well-protected by powerful allies. With this near-death experience behind her, Maud left the world of prostitution for good. She returned to her mother’s home and began the long process of transforming her life once again, this time by fighting for legal recognition as a woman. She began her legal battle to change her civil status, a grueling process that would take years to complete. At the age of 33, Maud finally obtained the legal recognition she so desperately sought.
With her identity now legally recognized, Maud turned her attention to the legal profession. In November 1979, she passed the lawyer’s exam under difficult circumstances and soon found herself working in a feminist law office. It was here that she began to fight for the rights of sex workers and trans individuals. However, her unconventional background – her status as a transsexual – created tension within the legal community. “Barreau had not seen anything at first, because we had sworn not to say anything, not to do anything, not to publish anything,” she explains. Despite these challenges, Maud continued her work, dedicated to fighting for marginalized groups. Yet, as her career progressed, the legal world became increasingly hostile to her presence. She was eventually forced out of the profession because her status as a transsexual lawyer disturbed the traditional norms of the legal community. This exclusion was yet another painful chapter in Maud's life, but it did not break her.
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Maud has withdrawn from public life, finding peace in solitude and writing. Her Parisian studio is now her sanctuary, where she works on her third book. Writing has become her main source of comfort, the only reality she can truly cling to. As she reflects on her past, Maud acknowledges the pain of her journey: “I’ve met 15,000 men in my life, but none of them told me, I love you. And there, it’s very hard, because not being loved, it hurts a lot. I would have wanted to live standing up, I had to survive lying down.” These words encapsulate the deep sorrow that has accompanied her journey, but also the unyielding strength that has allowed her to survive and thrive against all odds. Maud Marin's life story is a powerful narrative of resilience in the face of overwhelming adversity. From the streets of Paris to the legal battles and literary success, her journey is a testament to the courage it takes to be true to oneself in a world that often refuses to understand. In her solitude, Maud has found a measure of peace, her past forever etched in the memories of those who shared her world and in the pages of her books.
Image credits: YouTube
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