Released in 2020 and directed by Meg Daniels and Manie Robinson, Proper Pronouns is an insightful documentary that explores the lives of transgender ordained ministers in the American South, particularly focusing on the challenges they face in reconciling their faith, gender identity, and personal lives. Set against the backdrop of North Carolina, where six transgender ministers serve, the film centers on four of them - Dawn Flynn, Mykal Shannon, Liam Hooper, and Debra Hopkins - who each grapple with rejection from their religious communities, their families, and society at large. This brave group of ministers defies the narrow-minded views that surround them to live authentically, advocating for both personal and spiritual acceptance.
The lives of transgender individuals are often marked by internal and external struggles, particularly in environments where conformity to traditional gender roles is expected. For these four ministers, their transitions were more than just personal journeys - they were acts of defiance in an environment that often rejects difference. One of the most poignant stories is that of Dawn Flynn. At 61, Dawn was forced to confront her truth after being outed by a hairdresser, leading to a profound crisis that impacted her ministry, marriage, and personal sense of self-worth.
Previously living as Duane Flynn, a respected minister in the United Methodist Church in Gastonia, North Carolina, she struggled for decades with her identity, suppressing her true self in a desperate attempt to fit into the expectations placed upon her as a man. The revelation of her transgender identity came as a shock to many, resulting in the loss of her pastoral license, a strain on her marriage to Pam, and emotional turmoil. But after years of therapy and self-reflection, Dawn transitioned and began reclaiming her life. Her journey of transformation, however, was not without its cost. While she fought to re-enter the church, rebuild relationships, and live authentically, the process placed immense strain on her marriage. Dawn's struggle for acceptance was mirrored by the challenges she faced in her faith community, as she fought to reconcile her transgender identity with her calling as a minister. Dawn’s story is a testament to the courage required to embrace one's true self, even when doing so challenges long-held beliefs and relationships. The film illustrates how, despite the personal costs, embracing one's authentic identity - whether as a transgender person or a spiritual leader - becomes a source of strength, faith, and resilience.
What makes Proper Pronouns particularly compelling is how it examines the intersection of faith and gender identity. The four ministers featured in the film share a deep commitment to serving God, yet their journeys challenge the often rigid and exclusionary interpretations of religion that prevail in the evangelical Christian communities in which they serve. The documentary explores the ways in which these ministers reconcile their gender identity with their calling to ministry, often encountering resistance from congregations, family members, and even fellow clergy. Liam Hooper, for example, shares his experience of navigating both the practical and theological challenges of living as a transgender man in the ministry.
In a particularly telling moment in the film, Liam describes the difficulty of debating scripture with those who have little understanding of the Bible’s deeper, more inclusive messages. His frustration with the limitations placed on him due to his gender identity and his faith reflects a broader tension within the religious community, especially in the Southern United States, where conservative interpretations of Christianity often hold sway. While Proper Pronouns addresses these challenges, it does not focus on the specifics of transgender rights or the use of "proper pronouns" in the way that might be expected. Instead, the film emphasizes the emotional and spiritual toll that these ministers endure as they work to serve their communities while staying true to their authentic selves. The issue of pronouns comes up only briefly in the film, notably when Debra Hopkins points out that it is a matter of respect to refer to her as "she," though she admits she gives her mother some leeway due to her age and inability to adjust to new norms.
What sets Proper Pronouns apart from other documentaries on transgender issues is its refusal to engage in the usual debates around identity, gender, or societal norms. Instead, the filmmakers, Meg Daniels and Manie Robinson, choose to create a "hater-free zone," focusing on the positive aspects of the ministers' lives. The film does not dwell on the extreme reactions often depicted in the media but instead shows how, despite the challenges, these ministers are supported by accepting congregations and allies. The film captures moments of joy and acceptance, such as scenes where rainbow flags are displayed in churches or when ministers are embraced by their congregations.
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The documentary also refrains from sensationalizing the dangers faced by transgender individuals, though it does acknowledge them. Liam Hooper, for instance, explains the precautions he must take when traveling, ensuring that he can access gender-neutral bathrooms on his journeys. Yet, overall, the film highlights the support and solidarity these ministers find, offering a hopeful perspective on the possibility of faith communities embracing inclusivity. The struggles within their personal lives, particularly the impact of their transitions on their marriages, are the most challenging and poignant moments in the film. Mykal Shannon’s relationship with his partner, who initially accepted him as a lesbian but now struggles with defining her sexuality in the context of his transition, offers a glimpse into the complexities of gender and romantic identity. Similarly, Dawn Flynn’s ongoing bond with her second wife Pam, despite their differing feelings about their relationship post-transition, provides insight into the challenges of maintaining love and connection in the face of profound change.
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The making of Proper Pronouns was a deeply transformative process for both Daniels and Robinson. Daniels, a cisgender woman raised Catholic, found herself re-evaluating her own understanding of faith and spirituality as she spent time with the ministers. Throughout the filming process, she was struck by the ministers’ deep faith and commitment to scripture, despite the exclusionary interpretations of religion that often conflict with their identities. For Daniels, the ministers' ability to use scripture to promote love, inclusion, and compassion was eye-opening, leading her to re-examine her own beliefs and gain a new respect for religious teachings focused on acceptance rather than condemnation. Manie Robinson, co-producer and editor of the film, also experienced a transformation through the process of making Proper Pronouns. Raised with little awareness of transgender issues, Robinson learned about the complexity of gender identity and the struggles faced by transgender people, especially those who are also people of color. He reflects on his privilege as a cisgender person and how this project helped him understand the profound dangers faced by transgender individuals, particularly those who are black and live in the Bible Belt.
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Proper Pronouns is more than just a documentary about transgender ministers; it is a film about resilience, faith, and the courage to live authentically in a world that often demands conformity. The film humanizes a community that is too often marginalized, showing the complexities and nuances of their lives as they navigate their faith, their gender identity, and their relationships. By focusing on the ministers' personal stories and their commitment to serving others, the film encourages viewers to reconsider their own assumptions about gender, faith, and identity. As the documentary comes to a close, viewers are left with a sense of hope and inspiration. The four transgender ministers - Dawn, Mykal, Liam, and Debra - are not just surviving but thriving in their calling. Their stories are a testament to the power of faith, love, and self-acceptance, and they offer a powerful example of how individuals can find peace and purpose by embracing their truth, regardless of the obstacles they face.
Ultimately, Proper Pronouns is a celebration of humanity in all its diversity, challenging viewers to open their hearts and minds to the experiences of transgender individuals while also reflecting on the role of faith in promoting acceptance and inclusivity. By showing the ministers’ struggles and triumphs, the film encourages a broader understanding of what it means to live a full and authentic life, grounded in faith, love, and respect for others.
Image credits: Vimeo
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