Mich vermisst keiner!

Director: Erik Lemke
Release Year: 2016

Title in English: No One Misses Me!

"Mich vermisst keiner!" (translated as "No One Misses Me!") is a poignant 2016 documentary by filmmaker Erik Lemke that explores the complex and heartbreaking life of Evelin, a woman who has endured profound challenges and alienation in both her personal and societal existence.

 

The film is a delicate and intimate portrait of a woman who, despite enduring severe hardships, displays remarkable strength and resilience in confronting her past and present. The narrative Lemke constructs is not just about Evelin’s struggles, but also about the broader human experience of feeling disconnected from the world around you. At the heart of the documentary is Evelin's life following a tragic amputation of both of her legs. Having lost not only her physical mobility but also her connections to friends and family, she is largely confined to her apartment, moving only between her kitchen, computer, television, and bed. This seclusion, however, is not merely a result of her physical condition. It symbolizes the broader isolation that she feels in a society that seems to have moved on without her. The documentary explores the emotional and physical toll that these isolations take, painting a portrait of a person who feels invisible, even as she still exists in the world. 

 

What makes "Mich Vermisst Keiner!" so deeply moving is its exploration of Evelin’s past, particularly her life 25 years ago, when she lived as a man. Through old videotapes discovered during the making of the film, we see a fragment of the life Evelin once led, which has since been erased or forgotten by most people. The old footage shows a time when Evelin was still part of the world as a man with a job, a family, and a daughter, before the fall of the German Democratic Republic (GDR) and the subsequent unification of Germany. 

 

These tapes are a window into a different era, one that no longer exists - both in the physical and the emotional sense. As Evelin reflects on the images from her past, she must confront the harsh reality that the GDR has disappeared, and with it, the social and personal structures that once defined her life. Evelin’s life story is one of profound loss. Not only did she lose her job and family, but she also underwent a deeply personal transformation, changing her gender from male to female in a provincial town in what used to be East Germany. This transformation, which was a culmination of her deepest wishes, was an act of immense courage. But even as she achieved what she had longed for, it came at the cost of much that had once defined her existence, leaving her estranged from the world around her. 

 

In the documentary, Evelin is shown living in near-total isolation. The camera closely follows her as she moves with difficulty between the different parts of her apartment. She remains largely cut off from the outside world, avoiding any significant contact with others. Her physical condition and lack of support from friends and family create a stark contrast to the life she once lived, and the emotional weight of her isolation is palpable throughout the film. This deep sense of loneliness is compounded by Evelin’s memories of a life that no longer exists. Her former life, captured in the old video footage, reveals a version of herself that seems so distant and foreign that it is difficult for her to relate to. 

 

The documentary focuses on the contrast between this past and her present, portraying the pain of a person who has lost not just her body parts, but also the life she once knew. However, this pain is not expressed through overt emotion or melodrama. Evelin’s narration is delivered with a quiet, almost detached humor, which makes her experiences even more heart-wrenching. While the film could easily have focused on one of the numerous themes that define Evelin's life - loneliness, physical disability, addiction, or the struggle with gender identity - it is the unfolding of Evelin’s history that becomes the most powerful element of the film. She opens up about her life in the GDR, her job in a factory, her family dynamics, and the societal changes that led to her profound alienation. The discovery of a 25-year-old VHS tape acts as a catalyst for these memories, and through her reflections on the past, Evelin provides insight into how the political and social upheavals of the time affected her personal life. 

 

Erik Lemke’s approach to telling Evelin's story is marked by empathy and sensitivity. The close-up shots of Evelin, combined with the intimate framing of her surroundings, establish a sense of trust between the filmmaker and his subject. The camera lingers not only on Evelin herself but also on the objects around her - personal mementos, pieces of furniture, and small trinkets that give the viewer a deeper understanding of the world she inhabits. This close attention to detail allows the documentary to convey a profound respect for Evelin's life and experiences, creating a nuanced and complex portrait of a person who is often overlooked by society. The act of filming Evelin’s story is itself an act of restoring her visibility. Throughout the documentary, Evelin appears as someone who has been marginalized, someone whose struggles have not been seen or acknowledged by others. The film, by giving Evelin the space to tell her story, offers her a form of recognition that she has been denied in the past. It is a celebration of her resilience and courage, even if she herself may not always recognize the significance of her own life. 

 

At its core, "Mich Vermisst Keiner!" is a commentary on the challenges faced by individuals who find themselves left behind by larger societal changes. Evelin's life story is a lens through which we can examine the impact of the collapse of the GDR and the subsequent unification of Germany. The film touches on the disintegration of social structures and the sense of alienation that many experienced as the world around them rapidly transformed. Evelin articulates this sense of disconnection succinctly, saying, "Everyone is cooking their own little soup," a phrase that encapsulates her perception of the fragmentation of society in the capitalist world that emerged after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Her journey is marked by a painful shift from communal living and solidarity to an individualistic and isolating existence. This transition is mirrored in Evelin’s personal life - her relationships deteriorated, her job was lost, and eventually, her physical body began to betray her. This gradual disintegration, both personal and social, forms the central narrative of the film, culminating in the title "Mich Vermisst Keiner!" which translates to "No One Misses Me!" This phrase, spoken by Evelin, encapsulates the feeling of being invisible, of living a life that is unseen and unacknowledged by the world. 

 

What makes "Mich Vermisst Keiner!" so compelling is its universal themes. Evelin’s story is not unique in the sense that there are many people who feel marginalized, isolated, or disconnected from society. Yet, her particular journey - marked by gender transition, disability, and the collapse of her world - forms a deeply individual narrative that is rich with insight and complexity. The documentary captures the nuances of Evelin’s life, revealing the subtle layers of her personality and experiences that go far beyond her hardships. Despite the profound difficulties she has faced, Evelin’s story is one of survival and determination. The documentary reveals her as a woman who, in her quiet way, has continued to fight for her place in the world, even when everything around her seemed to fall apart. She may feel invisible, but through Lemke's sensitive filmmaking, her story is brought to light in a way that honors her complexity and humanity.

 

In the end, "Mich Vermisst Keiner!" is a film about memory, loss, and the search for identity in a changing world. It reminds us of the importance of seeing and acknowledging the lives of those who are often forgotten or overlooked, and it challenges us to consider the costs of societal transformation and personal sacrifice. Through Evelin’s story, Erik Lemke invites us to reflect on what it means to be truly seen, and what it means to be truly lost.

 

via: youtube

 eriklemke.com and fbw-filmbewertung.com

Image credits: docfilm42.de