I Am Skylar

Director: Rachel Bower
Release Year: 2019

"I Am Skylar," directed by Rachel Bower, is a poignant 2019 documentary that offers an intimate look at the journey of a young transgender girl navigating her identity on the cusp of puberty. At the heart of the film is Skylar Côté, a 14-year-old girl from Mira Gut, Cape Breton, who has already begun to carve her path towards adulthood with a unique combination of authenticity, courage, and dignity. This deeply moving film showcases the complexity and beauty of Skylar's journey, framed within the love and support she receives from her family and community.

 

Skylar’s story is not merely about transitioning - it's about identity, family, acceptance, and the struggle to live one's truth in a world that can be both accepting and hostile. Throughout the film, we witness Skylar’s honesty as she navigates the intricate emotions and decisions that come with her transition, offering the audience a glimpse into her evolving sense of self. Several years ago, Dylan, who is now Skylar, came out as transgender. The documentary delves into the emotional impact of this revelation on her family - particularly on her parents, Jill and Marcel, who recount the initial challenges they faced upon learning that their son identified as a girl. They reflect on the subtle shifts within their household, from small changes like removing pictures of Dylan to the more visible and significant adjustments, such as Skylar's transformation in appearance. As Skylar embarks on her transition, her parents work diligently to ensure her comfort and safety, offering unwavering support as they navigate a world that can often be unwelcoming to transgender individuals. While the support from her family and community is an essential aspect of Skylar’s journey, the documentary also touches on their fears - particularly the concern of what might happen when Skylar moves beyond her close-knit, supportive environment and faces the world outside. In these moments, "I Am Skylar" highlights not just the beauty of unconditional love and support, but also the vulnerability and fear that many parents of transgender children feel.

 

The documentary becomes a poignant reflection of both the joys and the challenges that come with raising a transgender child in a society that is still learning how to fully accept and understand the transgender experience. One of the most emotional moments of the documentary occurs when Skylar’s family surprises her with her very own float at the Sydney Pride Parade. This celebration is not just a milestone for Skylar, but also for her family, marking their journey of acceptance and support. The moment is a powerful demonstration of the love and respect that permeates Skylar's life - something that many transgender youth are not fortunate enough to experience. 

 

Skylar’s story is framed within the context of her family’s journey as well, particularly in the way they have coped with adversity. Skylar’s younger brother, Joshua, is living with hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia, a rare genetic condition that affects hair, skin, teeth, and nails. Jill and Marcel share how they grappled with the uncertainty surrounding Joshua’s diagnosis, and how their ability to navigate the unknown ultimately prepared them for the challenges that would come when Skylar decided to transition. At the core of "I Am Skylar" is the theme of living authentically. Skylar speaks candidly about her desire to be true to herself, explaining how accepting her past, including her former identity as Dylan, has been part of her healing process. She is unafraid to acknowledge her journey, yet her openness is paired with a refreshing sense of acceptance and peace about who she is now. Skylar’s thoughts on identity and authenticity are powerful.

 

One of the most significant lines in the film comes from Skylar herself: “If your shell doesn’t fit, try a new one.” This simple yet profound quote encapsulates her philosophy about life - finding the courage to live your truth and being unapologetic about who you are. Skylar’s words offer a glimpse into the mindset of a young person who, despite the challenges she faces, has embraced her journey with resilience. Skylar also reflects on the concept of "dead names," a term used to describe a transgender person’s name assigned at birth. 

 

She openly discusses why the use of a dead name is harmful, explaining how it can invalidate a transgender person’s identity and perpetuate feelings of disrespect. For Skylar, using her dead name in the documentary was a way to honor her past and tell a complete, truthful story. Yet, she emphasizes the importance of respecting someone’s chosen name in real life, acknowledging the emotional impact it can have when people refuse to honor a person’s true identity. While “I Am Skylar” is deeply personal, it also serves as a powerful tool for representation. The documentary highlights the challenges faced by transgender youth, but it also showcases the possibility of acceptance and love within a supportive family and community. Skylar’s experience is unique, but her story resonates with the universal desire to live authentically and to be accepted for who we truly are.

 

The film’s brevity - just 15 minutes long - might leave some viewers yearning for a more in-depth exploration of Skylar’s journey and the broader issues facing the transgender community. The short runtime, while making it accessible and easy to watch, can also leave the audience with a sense of incompleteness. Nevertheless, Skylar’s story remains a crucial contribution to the discourse surrounding transgender experiences and the importance of acceptance. For some viewers, the film might seem overly specific, reflecting the unique circumstances of Skylar’s life. The unwavering support from her family and the close-knit community she is part of might feel distant from the experiences of many transgender individuals, especially those who lack such a robust support network. 

 

However, "I Am Skylar" still offers important lessons on the power of love, acceptance, and living one’s truth. Since the completion of the documentary, Skylar has continued her journey of self-discovery. At the time of filming, she was just 13, and now, two years later, she reflects on her growth. She shares how transitioning with the help of estrogen has initiated the physical changes typical of puberty for a cisgender girl, though without the experience of menstruation. Her emotional changes have also been profound, with fluctuating moods - an aspect of puberty that Skylar embraces as part of her growth. Skylar also speaks of her ongoing commitment to acting, a dream she has held since childhood. She is actively pursuing acting classes and remains determined to make her way to Broadway, where she hopes to one day fulfill her aspirations of performing in musicals.

 

The documentary has not only sparked interest in her personal journey but has also inspired Skylar to pursue a career in front of the camera, with the goal of becoming an actress. The documentary has sparked meaningful conversations about the transgender experience and has led to several viewers sharing how it has affected their lives. Skylar’s hope is that her story will help others navigate their own journeys, as it was intended to offer a message of support and encouragement. As Skylar looks ahead to her 16th birthday, she is excited about the prospect of getting her driver’s license, symbolizing another milestone in her life. Her optimism and drive are a testament to her resilience, as she continues to grow, learn, and live her truth. "I Am Skylar" ultimately inspires audiences to live authentic lives and to embrace the full spectrum of human experience with compassion, understanding, and love. Skylar’s family embodies these values, and through their support of her transition, they demonstrate the power of acceptance and unconditional love.

 

The documentary’s success - winning Best Atlantic Short Documentary at the 2019 FIN AIFF Awards - is a testament to its emotional resonance and impact. Skylar’s story is one of many that should be told, as it helps illuminate the diversity of the transgender experience while fostering empathy and acceptance for all. In "I Am Skylar," we are reminded of the importance of living authentically, embracing our truth, and supporting one another in our personal journeys.

 

via: youtube

 sorryneverheardofit and nsadvocate.org

Image credits: YouTube