"I Am Her," a 2016 documentary directed by Sasha Pezenik, offers an intimate and raw exploration of the lives of transgender women living on the fringes of New York City. The film highlights the struggles, resilience, and the often-overlooked human stories of individuals within the transgender homeless community, showcasing their battle for self-acceptance and survival. Set against the backdrop of a church in the West Village that extends a helping hand to these individuals, the film offers a glimpse into the harsh realities of street life and the transformative power of community and expression.
"I Am Her" transports viewers into the shadowy world of New York City's transgender underclass, a group that often exists in the periphery of both mainstream society and the broader LGBTQ community. As the narrative unfolds, the audience is introduced to a church that serves as a sanctuary for this marginalized group, offering not only support but also a sense of belonging and an outlet for creative expression through performances like drag shows. These moments of joy and creativity are not just an escape but a form of resistance and empowerment, serving as a stark contrast to the harshness of life on the streets. However, as the documentary progresses, it becomes clear that all is not as it initially seems. Beneath the surface, tensions rise within the community, and the vulnerabilities of these individuals come to the forefront. Issues such as homelessness, sex work, abuse, and disease loom large, and the church’s role in providing a safe space becomes increasingly fragile as these complexities unfold.
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In an interview with Pezenik, the filmmaker explains that the inspiration for "I Am Her" came by chance. While starting her master’s degree at Columbia Journalism School with a focus on documentary filmmaking, Pezenik stumbled upon the church in the West Village while on assignment. Intrigued by the community gathering, she ventured inside and was immediately captivated by the "Gospel Night drag show" taking place. This performance, aimed at supporting the local LGBTQ population, many of whom were homeless or in need of assistance, piqued her interest and led to a deeper exploration of the lives of these individuals. As Pezenik connected with the people in the community, she was moved by their stories - stories of hardship, perseverance, and the sheer strength of their spirit. Their resilience became a central theme of the documentary, which she saw as a way to amplify voices that were often overlooked in mainstream media. Pezenik wanted to tell a different side of the transgender experience - one that wasn’t glitzy or sensationalized, but rather grounded in raw, human truth.
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"I Am Her" touches on a range of deeply personal and universally relatable themes - abandonment, alienation, joy, and triumph. While these emotions are common to all humans, for the transgender women featured in the film, they are particularly acute and immediate. As Pezenik noted, the courage it takes for these individuals to face their emotions and exist authentically in a world that has often rejected them cannot be overstated. The film serves as a reminder of the bravery required to live on the front lines of societal exclusion, especially for those without a public platform. In crafting this film, Pezenik was acutely aware of her own position as a straight white woman telling the stories of transgender people. She took care to remain sensitive to their experiences and ensure that their voices were central to the narrative. The universal themes of self-discovery, finding a sense of community, and grappling with identity resonate throughout the film, making it accessible to a wide audience. Pezenik's goal was not to impose her framework but to allow the characters to express themselves in their own words, something that is reinforced through the film's powerful musical score.
The music in "I Am Her" plays a crucial role in elevating the emotional impact of the film. Composed by Dave Eggar, Chuck Palmer, and Sean Robinson, the score seamlessly complements the visual storytelling, enhancing the emotional resonance of the characters' journeys. The music, described by Pezenik as "beautiful," is deeply intertwined with the themes of performance, creative expression, and emotional release. In particular, the title song, performed by transgender artist Shagasyia Diamond, encapsulates the "grit, beauty, and intrepid soul" of the women featured in the documentary. This collaboration not only underscores the importance of artistic expression in the film but also reinforces its message of empowerment and resilience.
Documentary filmmaking is often a fluid process, and "I Am Her" is no exception. Pezenik did not have a set script for the film; instead, she allowed the narrative to evolve organically as she spent time with her subjects. Initially, she anticipated following a few specific characters, but as the story unfolded, she was struck by how the lives of these individuals intertwined. Themes of rebirth, self-expression, and the search for community emerged as central motifs, creating a more complex and interconnected narrative than Pezenik had originally envisioned. The evolution of the film was also influenced by the unpredictable nature of documentary filmmaking. Pezenik had to adapt to the challenges that arose as she followed her characters’ journeys. The film’s development was shaped not just by the events captured on camera but also by the personal relationships Pezenik formed with the individuals she documented. The result is a deeply personal and empathetic film that captures the complexity of the transgender experience in a way that is both sensitive and powerful.
Since its premiere, "I Am Her" has garnered widespread praise and recognition. The film has been selected for over ten film festivals and has won Best Documentary at several of them. It was also recognized as an influencer for the United Nations' global initiative on gender equality. These accolades are a testament to the film’s ability to resonate with audiences and spark important conversations about gender identity, power structures, and the challenges faced by transgender individuals. Pezenik expressed gratitude for the positive feedback she has received, acknowledging the support of her collaborators and the inspiration they provided throughout the filmmaking process. The film’s success has been particularly meaningful given the challenges Pezenik faced in making it - producing the film largely on her own with a modest budget. Despite these obstacles, the film has been a labor of love, and its recognition has reinforced the importance of telling these often-ignored stories.
Pezenik hopes that "I Am Her" will continue to foster conversations about gender identity, sexuality, and the intersection of these issues with poverty and homelessness. The film aims to open up dialogue about these often difficult and painful topics, shedding light on the lives of transgender individuals who are too often ignored or misunderstood. Looking ahead, Pezenik hopes that the film will reach a wider audience through distribution on online platforms like IndieFlicks or Netflix, as well as potential TV broadcasts. She also welcomes further support from producers, distributors, and festival directors who can help amplify the film’s message and increase its visibility.
"I Am Her" is a powerful and evocative documentary that challenges audiences to confront the harsh realities of homelessness, poverty, and the transgender experience. Through its empathetic portrayal of the lives of transgender women in New York City, the film offers a window into a world that is often ignored by mainstream media. By focusing on the strength, resilience, and humanity of its subjects, "I Am Her" serves as a reminder of the importance of empathy, social justice, and the need to give a voice to those who are often silenced. Sasha Pezenik’s debut documentary is a poignant and timely exploration of identity, community, and survival. With its raw storytelling, beautiful music, and emotional depth, "I Am Her" invites viewers to see the world through the eyes of those who have been left behind - and to engage in a larger conversation about the meaning of identity and belonging in an increasingly complex world.
Image credits: YouTube
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