In the 2020 documentary "You Decide", director Taiki Sugioka explores the complex, personal transformation of Kaede Hatashima, a transgender woman, as she navigates the shifting landscapes of self-identity, societal expectations, and personal ambition. This poignant and captivating film sheds light on the struggles and triumphs of a young woman striving to define her own identity in a world filled with preconceived notions about gender and sexuality. With its honest portrayal of Kaede's journey, the documentary has garnered praise at numerous international film festivals, making it a significant entry in both Japanese cinema and the global LGBTQ+ narrative.
Kaede Hatashima, born in Kyoto in 1993, had been dreaming of becoming an architect since she was just eight years old. After studying architecture at Keio University, she was hired by a prestigious construction firm, a step that signaled the beginning of her professional career. On the surface, Kaede appeared to be on the path to success - an accomplished student entering a respected industry with a promising future. However, there was a deep, personal struggle that had been weighing on her for years. Despite excelling in her career pursuits, Kaede felt increasingly uncomfortable living as a man. The conflict between her external achievements and internal discomfort with her gender identity grew more pronounced as she continued through university and into her early career.
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This growing discomfort eventually led Kaede to a life-altering decision: she chose to embrace her true self as a woman. In doing so, Kaede set out to challenge the societal expectations that had confined her. She entered beauty contests, not just for the thrill or recognition, but as a means to test her ability to pass as a woman in society's eyes. She also became active in LGBTQ+ job-support activities and public lectures, seeking to foster a more inclusive and realistic understanding of transgender people. Through these engagements, Kaede grappled with her own conception of what it means to be a transgender person, questioning stereotypes and established narratives. However, even as she sought to redefine her identity, Kaede struggled with an enduring self-image that was shaped by her past. Deep within, she carried the memory of being a son who could never meet her father’s expectations - a ghost from her childhood that continued to haunt her, even as she tried to embrace her new identity as a woman. In the brief space between completing her graduate studies and beginning her new job as an architect, Kaede tested her wings as a woman for the first time in public. She cast aside the masculine identity she had known for so long and came out as a transgender woman to the world. This moment marks the emotional and symbolic turning point captured in "You Decide".
The documentary is not just about Kaede’s transformation, but also about the inner turmoil she faces while balancing her ambition with her emotional history. As Kaede participates in beauty contests and public speaking events, she begins to attract media attention for her abilities and the courage she demonstrates as a transgender woman. Despite this newfound visibility, Kaede is unable to escape the internal conflict between her desire to achieve social success as a transgender woman and the lingering sense of being a son who failed to fulfill her father’s hopes. These two identities - one driven by ambition and the other yearning for parental approval - compete for her attention and shape her evolving self-image. The documentary presents Kaede’s journey as a young woman struggling to reconcile these opposing forces, prompting viewers to reflect on the complexity of gender, identity, and familial expectations. The film captures a pivotal moment in Kaede’s life: the birth of the woman she has always been inside. It presents an ongoing, unfinished narrative, one that reflects the real-time process of becoming, a transition that continues beyond the documentary's lens. Kaede’s journey is deeply personal, yet it resonates universally as a story of self-discovery, resilience, and the pursuit of authenticity.
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A significant part of Kaede’s journey involves her efforts to connect with the broader LGBTQ+ community. Through her engagement with various organizations, such as JobRainbow, a social venture focused on creating inclusive workplaces for LGBTQ+ individuals, and her conversations with LGBTQ+ figures like Ai Haruna, a leading transgender TV personality, Kaede seeks to not only advocate for herself but also expand opportunities for others in similar situations. The documentary highlights the importance of community support and representation, as Kaede and other activists work together to challenge social stereotypes and make space for diverse expressions of gender. One of the central figures in Kaede’s journey is Satsuki Nishihara, a transgender actress, model, and president of Otome Juku (Girls' Club), an organization dedicated to supporting transitioning trans women. Through Nishihara and other LGBTQ+ allies, Kaede begins to form a broader understanding of what it means to be a transgender woman in Japan and how she can contribute to shifting the narrative around gender identity. The film also features cameos from notable figures such as Kodo Nishimura, a renowned Jodo Buddhist monk and makeup artist, who is also active in supporting the LGBTQ+ community, and Ai Haruna, the winner of Miss International Queen 2009, a famous annual pageant for transgender women held in Thailand, who represents the trans community in Japan. Their inclusion underscores the importance of visibility and representation in both the media and activism, providing Kaede with a network of mentors and peers who have walked similar paths.
Directed by Taiki Sugioka, "You Decide" is a deeply reflective and personal film. Sugioka, who studied filmmaking in New York and made his name with "Campaign Festival!" (2015), is known for his honest and unflinching approach to storytelling. In "You Decide", Sugioka confronts the challenges of portraying a sensitive subject matter without falling into the trap of political correctness or simplifying the complexities of gender identity. He expresses a genuine reluctance to make a film about Kaede simply for the sake of supporting LGBTQ+ causes. Instead, he sought to understand the nuances of her experience and the broader societal issues that shape the lives of transgender individuals. Sugioka has spoken candidly about his decision to take on this project, acknowledging that he initially hesitated due to his fear of presenting Kaede in a way that might overshadow her authentic self. He comments on the commercialization of LGBTQ+ movements in contemporary Tokyo, observing how the political and ideological aspects of LGBTQ+ advocacy sometimes overshadow the genuine struggles of individuals. Through "You Decide", Sugioka offers a powerful commentary on the importance of listening to the voices of those who are often silenced or misunderstood. His goal is not to lead others in a "right" direction but to encourage independent thinking and open dialogue, particularly in a world increasingly divided by political correctness and cultural divides.
Ultimately, "You Decide" is a film about the struggle to live authentically, free from the constraints of societal expectations and personal doubts. It is a story that resonates with anyone who has ever sought to change something fundamental about themselves and faced the internal and external challenges that accompany such a transformation. Kaede’s journey is not just about transitioning from one gender to another - it is about discovering who she truly is and embracing that truth, no matter how complex or contradictory it may seem. "You Decide" is a powerful and thought-provoking film that sheds light on the personal and social struggles of transgender individuals. It is a film about identity, ambition, love, and acceptance - both from others and from oneself. Through Kaede's journey, Sugioka offers a deeply human exploration of what it means to be true to oneself in a world that often demands conformity. The film invites viewers to reflect on their own beliefs and assumptions, and ultimately challenges them to embrace a more open and compassionate view of gender and identity. The documentary will continue to resonate with audiences worldwide, making it a significant contribution to the ongoing conversation around LGBTQ+ rights and representation. Kaede's story is far from over, but "You Decide" provides a snapshot of her transformation - a moment in time when the woman known as Kaede Hatashima is finally born.
Image credits: YouTube
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