"Carla" (2023), a documentary by Mara Rago, offers an intimate and revealing portrait of Carla Beck, a woman who spent much of her life as Carl Beck, a rock musician, and an individual who, after years of confusion and struggle, transitioned later in life. This powerful documentary sheds light on Carla’s journey from a womanizing rock ‘n’ roll frontman to embracing her true self as a woman, finding love and happiness along the way.
The film, which runs for just over forty minutes, presents Carla's story with a rare combination of humor, candidness, and sincerity. Early in the documentary, Carla reflects on her childhood, saying, “I tried to be a little boy, but it didn’t take.” This early moment sets the tone for the film, providing a raw and honest glimpse into her psyche. Through dry, deadpan humor, Carla shares the challenges she faced growing up, including a strained relationship with her mother, who reacted harshly when Carla wore women’s clothes. “She told me I would go to hell and burn in a lake of fire. Then, she went over God’s head and told my dad,” Carla quips, delivering the line with a wry smile that endears her to the audience. Throughout the documentary, Carla narrates her experiences with a matter-of-fact wit that allows viewers to connect with her. Before transitioning, Carla was in a rock band, "Rubyat", and was often surrounded by women. Despite this, she also struggled with jealousy toward them.
Her story is not one of simple transitions but one of self-discovery, as she acknowledges the dissonance between her gender identity and societal expectations. She reveals, “When I played the guitar, I f"cked my way across America,” alluding to her wild days as a rock star, but also pointing to the internal conflict she felt. Carla’s life before transitioning was marked by four marriages while living as Carl. In her final relationship as a man, Carla met a “blonde from Boston” who encouraged her to undergo gender reassignment surgery and live authentically as a woman. Despite their relationship ending, Carla admits with some irony that she is still in contact with many of her exes, most of whom, she notes, prefer Carla to Carl. In the documentary, viewers also meet Pam, Carla’s partner, who is also a trans woman. Pam’s deep love for Carla is evident, and her presence in the film provides a touching contrast to Carla's earlier life. Pam recounts their shared experience, saying, “I came with her when she got her surgery, and she came with me when I got mine,” underscoring the mutual support they offered each other during their transitions.
.jpg)
One of the most emotional moments in the film occurs when Pam, choked with emotion, speaks of her bond with Carla, making a profound impact on the audience. While Pam’s insights are powerful, the documentary could have benefited from additional perspectives, particularly from Carla's daughter, Starr Schmidt, or other close family members and friends. Nonetheless, the film is rich with personal reflection and a sense of intimacy, offering a glimpse into Carla’s evolving identity and her relationships. Mara Rago, the director of "Carla", also inserts herself into the narrative, which could have been a tricky maneuver in less capable hands. However, Rago handles her presence with grace, adding depth to the story rather than overshadowing it. Her journey with Carla began in the 1990s, when Rago, a fledgling photographer, first encountered Carla in a tanning salon. Rago recalls, “I saw this woman that was on a scooter riding around Shadyside. Something about her, she was just so unique looking.” This chance meeting eventually led to the making of the documentary, which is as much a reflection of Rago's fascination with Carla as it is a portrait of Carla’s life. The film also touches on the significance of identity, both personal and societal. Carla’s transition is portrayed as a deeply transformative experience, but one that did not come easily. She describes her gender reassignment surgery as “the final curing of the long soul’s sickness that I had.” When Rago asks, “Did it hurt?” Carla responds, “Life hurt worse,” underscoring the relief she felt in aligning her body with her true self. Rago’s artistic background as a photographer plays a crucial role in the documentary’s aesthetic.
.jpg)
The film mirrors her approach to photography, focusing on the soul of the subject. Rago has said, “When I’m taking pictures, I have this quote I like to say, ‘The soul of my subject, the soul in-between, and the soul of myself.’” In "Carla", Rago successfully transfers this ethos from photography to filmmaking, capturing not only Carla’s soul but her own as well. The documentary unfolds in a straightforward yet engaging manner, without pretense. It’s a glimpse into the life of an extraordinary individual who lived an unconventional and sometimes tumultuous life. Carla’s story is one of resilience, courage, and authenticity. Through her journey, Rago aims not only to introduce audiences to an inspiring person but also to shed light on the complexities of the trans experience. Rago also sees the documentary as a tool for education, particularly in light of rising transphobia. She recounts a screening with a largely unsympathetic audience, including her own 92-year-old mother, who initially was not open to the subject matter. However, after viewing the film, Rago's mother said, “I understand now, honey,” illustrating the film’s potential to foster empathy and understanding.
"Carla" premiered at The Andy Warhol Museum in October 2023, accompanied by a special performance by vocalist Phat Man Dee, who sang some of Carla’s music. This screening marked a celebration of both Carla’s life and the impact of Rago’s work as a filmmaker. The film’s straightforward yet profound approach allows viewers to connect with Carla not just as a trans woman but as a person who has lived a rich and colorful life-full of music, love, struggles, and triumphs. Ultimately, "Carla" is more than a documentary about a trans woman’s journey - it is a testament to the power of self-acceptance, love, and the courage to live authentically. It’s a moving portrayal of one woman’s fight to reconcile her inner truth with the world around her, leaving an indelible impression on all who watch.
Image credits: YouTube
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment