Att bli Lee

Broadcaster: TV4
Release Year: 2023

The Swedish documentary Att bli Lee (2023), which translates to "Becoming Lee," has resonated deeply with audiences, shedding light on the emotional, physical, and psychological journey of Lee Christiernsson. Previously known as Björn Christiernsson, the popular Swedish TV personality and skilled carpenter, Lee's transition from male to non-binary has captured the complexities of gender identity, societal expectations, and personal transformation. 

 

The documentary, broadcast on TV4, chronicles Lee's long path toward self-realization and acceptance, revealing an intimate portrait of a person finally embracing their authentic self after years of internal conflict. Before delving into the emotional layers of the documentary, it’s important to understand the person at the center of the narrative. Lee Christiernsson, born Björn Christiernsson on October 18, 1974, in Stockholm, became a well-known figure in Sweden due to their role as a carpenter and TV host. Their most prominent role was as a host on the popular home improvement show Äntligen hemma (Finally Home) from 2004 to 2015. Known for their sturdy build and practical skills, Lee was the quintessential "snickare" (carpenter) in the eyes of many viewers, solidifying their place in Swedish television. In addition to their TV career, Lee participated in various other programs such as Fear Factor (2002), Pluras Paradis, and Husräddarna, and even wrote for the magazine Vi i Villa. Their public persona was synonymous with masculinity, strength, and confidence - qualities that, as they later revealed, masked deep internal struggles. 

 

From a young age, Lee was acutely aware of feeling different. Unlike many of their peers, Lee experienced a disconnect between their body and their sense of self. This incongruity, often referred to as gender dysphoria, created a profound sense of unease and led to years of inner conflict. For much of their life, Lee suppressed these feelings, trying to conform to societal expectations of what it meant to be a man. In Att bli Lee, Lee opens up about how they felt trapped in a body that didn't align with their identity. This sense of disconnect caused significant emotional distress, often leading to feelings of alienation and depression. Lee explains that despite their outward success and recognition, they could not escape the relentless discomfort that came from not living as their true self. For Lee, the process of realizing their gender identity was neither sudden nor easy. It was the culmination of years of introspection, emotional turmoil, and the constant fight against societal norms. Att bli Lee allows viewers to witness these struggles through candid interviews and intimate moments where Lee discusses the toll that gender dysphoria took on their mental and physical health.

 

The documentary’s narrative is largely shaped by Lee's decision to transition from Björn to Lee. In their 40s, after decades of suppressing their true identity, Lee decided to embark on the journey of self-acceptance. It was not simply about altering their physical appearance, but about embracing an identity that had long been suppressed. Lee's transition process, which involved hormone therapy and surgeries, is depicted as a deeply emotional experience. However, Lee asserts that it felt less like a dramatic change and more like a return to the person they had always been. One of the most poignant moments in Att bli Lee is when Lee reflects on the pain and confusion he felt throughout their life as a result of living out of alignment with their true self. Their expression of relief as they begin to live openly as Lee is both moving and empowering

 

A significant aspect of Att bli Lee is the portrayal of the reactions from Lee’s family members as they came to terms with their transition. Lee’s mother, Ulla, admits that when she first received a letter from her child, detailing the struggle with gender identity, she was overwhelmed. "It was a short circuit for me, I didn’t understand anything," Ulla recalls in the documentary. Her initial shock quickly turned into concern for her child’s well-being, as she wondered how much pain Lee had endured over the years in silence. Lee’s sister, Johanna Carlsten, also shares her emotional response to the news. She reveals that upon reading the letter, she was filled with sorrow and fear, especially knowing how long Lee had kept their secret. "I thought, ‘How bad must he have felt to hide for so long? Is there a risk they may have been so miserable that they might have thought about taking their own life?" Johanna says, visibly moved. These family moments reveal the emotional complexity of Lee’s journey - not just for them, but for those closest to them. Despite their initial shock, Lee’s family eventually accepted their decision and began to understand their experience.

 

While the journey was not easy, the documentary highlights how Lee’s courage ultimately inspired acceptance and understanding within their family. Lee's transition and the subsequent documentary Att bli Lee have had a profound effect not only on those close to them but also on Swedish society at large. As a public figure, Lee’s journey has sparked important conversations about gender identity, non-binary experiences, and the societal pressure to conform to traditional gender roles. In the documentary, Lee reflects on how they had spent much of their adult life overcompensating for their gender dysphoria by embracing traditionally masculine roles and activities. "People probably saw me as an alpha male," Lee acknowledges, discussing how they consciously exaggerated their masculinity to maintain the appearance of fitting in. This is a common experience for many individuals with gender dysphoria, as they often feel compelled to suppress their true identity in order to avoid judgment or discrimination. Att bli Lee also delves into the broader issue of how gender norms and expectations impact individuals, particularly those who do not fit into the binary notions of "male" and "female." Lee’s decision to identify as non-binary - neither fully male nor female - challenges these rigid norms, contributing to a wider understanding of gender fluidity and the spectrum of identity. As Lee continues their journey of self-discovery and acceptance, Att bli Lee stands as an important document of their path toward becoming their true self.

 

The documentary has not only provided a platform for Lee to share their story, but it has also inspired countless viewers who may be struggling with their own gender identity or who have never before encountered such a raw, honest depiction of gender transition. Lee’s journey is far from over, and their future is filled with both challenges and opportunities. In their autobiography, För alltid Lee (Forever Lee), Lee further explores their life, from their youthful adventures and early career to the painful realization of their gender identity and the eventual decision to live as Lee. The book is an extension of the documentary, offering deeper insights into their experiences and the complexities of their transition. Ultimately, Att bli Lee is not just a documentary about a public figure's personal transformation; it is a poignant reminder of the power of self-acceptance, the importance of living authentically, and the ongoing need to challenge societal norms that limit individuals' freedom to express themselves fully. For Lee Christiernsson, the journey is ongoing, but with each step, they are closer to living a life that is true to their soul.

 

via: Vimeo

leechristiernsson.se and wikipedia
aftonbladet.se and metromode.se

Image credits: Vimeo