Director: Rouven Gueissaz
Release Year: 2024
Release Year: 2024
"Finding My Voice" (2024), a short documentary by Swiss filmmaker Rouven Gueissaz, brings to light the intimate and transformative journey of two transgender women as they navigate the complex relationship with their voices. The film, which offers a dual portrait of these women, sheds light on how voice - an intrinsic part of our identity - becomes a tool for self-expression and integration into society, particularly for transgender individuals. At the heart of the film are Bernadette (Bernie) Wagenblast, one of New York’s most famous voices, and Jade Stephan, a 25-year-old voice therapy patient working to feminize her voice. Through their stories, Gueissaz explores the significant role voice plays in gender transition. While Bernadette, who is 67 years old, has already undergone a public and private transformation, Jade, much younger, is still in the midst of her journey, seeking professional help to align her voice with her gender identity. Together, they represent two different points in the transgender experience, yet their shared desire to reshape their voices is a powerful thread that connects them.
Bernie Wagenblast is no stranger to public attention. Known as the voice of the New York City subway and other transportation systems, Bernie’s voice is heard by millions of commuters daily. However, this ubiquitous presence masks a deeply personal journey. Bernie is one of the few transgender women who transitioned later in life and has had the unique experience of having her voice associated with both male and female identities. She reflects, “I’m thankful for that voice. I’ve done more with it than I ever imagined and because of it I now have a platform to share my story.” Bernie’s voice was a key part of her career in transportation journalism and radio, but as she transitioned, she discovered a new meaning for her voice. She was comfortable with both her “male” and “female” voices, understanding that they reflected different facets of her identity. This understanding speaks to the flexibility and personal connection we have with our voices, something that transcends simply sounding masculine or feminine. In her own words, "I've been very pleased with the coverage," referring to the media attention her coming out garnered. She was able to use her platform to raise visibility for transgender individuals, an important aspect of her ongoing journey. In contrast, Jade Stephan, a 25-year-old from Switzerland, is at a different stage of her transition. Unlike Bernie, Jade is currently working with a voice therapist to develop a voice that feels more authentically feminine to her. The documentary captures the vulnerability and challenge of this process, highlighting the effort required to reshape one’s voice. For Jade, every vocal exercise and therapy session is an opportunity to become closer to the woman she truly feels she is, illustrating the transformative power of sound in affirming one’s gender identity.
In both stories, voice is not only about sound - it is about fitting into a world that often sees us through the lens of gender norms. For transgender individuals, the voice becomes an essential tool in navigating a society that frequently ties voice to gender identity. As the film documents, the challenges of a “male” voice in a transgender woman’s life can lead to alienation, discrimination, and misgendering. Conversely, achieving a voice that aligns with one’s gender presentation can provide a sense of belonging and affirmation. In the case of Bernie Wagenblast, who is often asked about her dual voices, her comfort in using both her “male” and “female” voices challenges the societal pressures to conform to a single, fixed version of womanhood. Her ability to fluidly express herself through both voices underscores the fact that voice can be a nuanced and multifaceted expression of identity. Jade’s experience, on the other hand, is more focused on the effort and struggle to meet societal expectations of femininity. Her determination to modify her voice - an act that can feel like an external projection of her inner self - reveals the societal pressures that exist for transgender people to “pass” in a world where gender norms are strictly enforced.
The documentary presents a fascinating juxtaposition between Bernie and Jade. On the one hand, Bernie, having transitioned later in life, enjoys a level of acceptance and professional success that many in the transgender community can only dream of. She has been able to use her voice for social good and public engagement. Yet, her story is not without its challenges. Bernie mentions the personal strains in her family life due to her transition, but she also highlights the support she has received from her colleagues and friends, especially considering her established career before transitioning. On the other hand, Jade, still in the process of transition, is facing the more immediate hurdles of voice training, societal expectations, and the uncertainty of her journey ahead. For her, the experience of working with a voice therapist is both a physical and emotional endeavor, as she strives to align her voice with her identity. In one powerful moment in the documentary, Jade expresses the emotional toll of trying to reach a vocal ideal that she feels will allow her to fully inhabit her identity as a woman. Both women, despite their different stages of transition, share a common goal: to find a voice that authentically represents their gender identity. Their stories offer a compelling exploration of the role of voice in both personal identity and social integration.
In an interview conducted by Monika Kowalska for the blog "Heroines of My Life", Bernadette Wagenblast shares insights into her transition and the broader issues facing transgender women today. One of the most poignant moments in the interview is when Bernie reflects on the importance of voice in her life: “I’ve been very pleased with the coverage. There are always going to be mistakes, but I think they’ve been minimal. There were a few outlets that wrote stories about me without even reaching out to me and, not surprisingly, they had the most misinformation.” This quote speaks to the ongoing challenge of media representation for transgender people. While public figures like Bernie have a platform, the media often gets it wrong by focusing on sensational aspects of their stories rather than the truth of their experiences. However, Bernadette remains optimistic, understanding the importance of visibility in the fight for transgender rights and recognition. She also reflects on the challenges of transitioning later in life, acknowledging that her age allowed her to weather the emotional storms of coming out in a way that younger transgender people might not be able to. For Bernie, the experience of transition, although not without difficulty, has been a source of empowerment. “Getting to live the life you imagine is far greater than just the problems you might experience once you transition,” she says, offering a message of hope for others on similar journeys.
“Finding My Voice” ultimately reveals that the search for a voice is not just a search for sound, but a quest for self-affirmation and acceptance. Whether it is Bernie’s reconciliation with her dual voices or Jade’s dedicated work with her voice therapist, the documentary beautifully explores how voice is an essential tool in the transgender experience. For both women, voice is an expression of their authenticity, their resilience, and their journey toward self-acceptance. As Rouven Gueissaz captures their stories on film, "Finding My Voice" becomes more than just a portrait of two women’s vocal journeys - it is a testament to the transformative power of self-expression. Through their voices, Bernie and Jade are not just changing how they sound to the world - they are reshaping their identities and embracing the person they were always meant to be.
Interview with the cast:
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