Director: Veronika Stepanova
Release Year: 2020
Original title: Она родилась в мужском теле | смена пола
In 2020, psychologist and popular YouTube blogger Veronika Stepanova conducted a candid interview with Russian transgender model Amoramia. This conversation became a pivotal moment for the Russian-speaking audience, opening up discussions on topics that often remain in the shadows. In the interview, Amoramia shared her experience of transitioning, her inner struggles, and the challenges she faced within society.
Amoramia recounted her childhood, mentioning that from a young age, she felt uncomfortable in a male body. She admitted, "Inside, I always felt that something was wrong. My reflection in the mirror seemed foreign to me." This confession reflects the typical feelings of gender dysphoria, where a person's internal identity does not align with their biological sex. The model also emphasized that during her youth, information about transgender identity was extremely limited. She mentioned that she first began to understand her identity through the internet and rare conversations with people who faced similar issues. "I grew up in a small town where such topics were taboo," she added.
One of the key topics of the interview was Amoramia’s decision to begin her gender transition. According to her, this step was difficult but inevitable. "I realized it wasn’t going to be an easy path. You need to be prepared for social misunderstanding, ridicule, and sometimes outright aggression," she admitted. Amoramia shared that the initial stages of her transition were fraught with immense stress. She constantly felt afraid that she would not be accepted, especially by her family and friends. This fear was so overwhelming that she sometimes considered leaving things as they were. However, the desire to live in harmony with herself proved stronger. "Telling the truth about yourself is terrifying. I wondered how [my partner] would react, what my parents or friends would say. It was a difficult journey," she openly revealed.
Amoramia detailed her experience with hormone therapy and surgeries. She stressed the importance of a professional approach: "Do not try self-treatment. Consult specialists. This is your health, and you must take it seriously." This advice came as a warning to young people who often start taking hormones without medical guidance, risking their health. She also mentioned that after beginning her transition, she felt significantly better. "For the first time, I saw in the mirror the person I had always felt like inside. It was liberating," the model shared.
In the interview, Amoramia touched on the subject of social stigmatization. She noted that transgender people in Russia often face misunderstanding and even hostility. One striking moment of the conversation was when she was directly asked why she decided to take this step. "Many people think it's some kind of whim or trend, but no one knows the pain and struggles it involves," she said. A particularly touching part was her acknowledgment of the people who supported her during her hardest times. "There are friends who stayed with me, and that is a huge happiness for me. They accepted me as I am," she added with a smile.
At the end of the interview, Amoramia addressed those planning to begin their transition and offered several recommendations: Seek professional help. She emphasized that the guidance of competent doctors and psychologists is essential for a successful and safe transition. Be prepared for difficulties. "This is not a fairy tale. You won’t just take a pill and become happy. It’s a long and challenging journey," she noted. Ignore negativity. According to her, there will always be critics, but it is important to remain confident in yourself. "You deserve to be happy and live in harmony with yourself. Don’t be afraid to fight for this right," Amoramia said in conclusion. The interview sparked widespread resonance among viewers. Many thanked Amoramia for her openness and courage. At the same time, as Veronika Stepanova noted, this topic still provokes mixed feelings in many people. "Try to analyze where your emotions - fear, aggression, or irritation - come from. Perhaps this will help you better understand yourself and your values," she suggested to viewers.
Veronika Stepanova’s interview with Amoramia made an important contribution to the discussion of transgender issues in Russia. This conversation not only shed light on the challenges faced by transgender individuals but also gave hope to those seeking their path. Amoramia demonstrated that despite all the difficulties, one can be oneself and strive for harmony. As Veronika said at the end of the interview: "Be grateful for your identity and for the ability to be yourself. That is the greatest wealth we have."
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